the last noel

it was christmas eve first time you met
but there were no eyes across a crowded room
no drunken kiss stolen under the mistletoe
it was in woolies buying last minute boxes of chocolates
he let you have the only black magic
your mum's favorite
feels like years ago but it was only two
and now it's christmas again
christmas and the phones ringing

you couldn't speak to him he makes you cry
and you should never cry on christmas day

trouble is you know how it will go
he'll ask why and you'll say your not sure
there'll be this long awkward silence
you'll both wish the ground will swallow you up
your dad's shouting from the kitchen
"if you're not going to answer it why don't you turn it off"
but you just keep flicking through channels
saying "god, there must still be one that repeats box of delights"
as if victor hely-hutchinson is the only one who can take away the ringing

you couldn't speak to him he makes you cry
and you should never cry on christmas day